Looking through the lens of a Kaleidoscope, one can change the image in front of you and what it means to you with a simple twist and turn. Life offers us the same opportunity, the ability to shift our perspective and choose to look at a situation, person, or ourselves from a new vantage point. Intentionally reframing our perspective or paradigm to better serve our desired future state takes practice. The following story captures a few lessons where our horses helped me figure some of this out. and where “making a mistake” that led to some wonderful insights for our clients and ourselves.
We, Stacie my Co-facilitator and Equine Specialist and I, were working with a group of women who were employed by a care agency whose team included management, marketing, nurses, administrative, and social workers. They hired us to help them improve their communication and become a team. After lunch, we invited them to do an EAGALA classic,: obstacles. It’s an activity where you ask participants, using horse-safe objects, to build a path for them to move horses through, in, over, or however they define the course. Except, when we described the activity, we forgot to specify the “path” part and only spoke about building an obstacle.
Lesson #1 – Put your plans in writing. There’s tons of research supporting the power of the written word, from journaling to goal setting. Each. Word. Matters.
Back to our client. We invited them to create an obstacle. So that’s what they did. Literally. They piled everything we gave them, PVC pipes, noodles, cones, buckets all in a big heap and created an obstacle, then all 12 of them stood in a circle looking at it. Stacie and I stared at each other with a questioning look of “what the bleep do we do now?” The group was not engaging with the horses, just standing there staring at a pile. This outcome was NOT what we imagined would happen at all! One big problem was we didn’t know when to decide the activity was over because they all just stood there while the horses milled around wondering what was going on. So, we sort of shrugged our shoulders “trusting the process” and approached the group. We asked them about their creation, and they said they did what we told them, which was build an obstacle. Which they did. Then we asked them what the obstacle represented, and they said things they couldn’t get over. Okay, we said, that makes sense. Our next question hit paydirt; we asked how they defined their success? Several shared their definitions for success, and they varied widely. At this point, our equine partners responded to the increased energy and started trotting around the arena. All the while, our human clients were still just standing looking at the pile they created. You see, both success and barriers to it, or obstacles, were different for each person because most of them worked independently, even though they all work for the same organization. This recognition led to rich dialogue about their interdependence. How the social worker’s definitions of success, as well as their obstacles, influenced the marketer’s definition and the administrators’, as well as the leaders’ definitions of both obstacles and success.
Lesson #2 – Trust the Process. When you stay focused on leveraging whatever is in front of you, or the situation at hand, you can find that whatever is happening is just exactly what will serve you best. Be open to outcomes and stay curious – they are your best weapons for success.
Lesson #3 – In the situation described above, I shared that this group hired us to help them become a team. They were under the assumption that we would do that, make them a team, in a one-day workshop. They shared their disappointment on their evaluations; because, while they learned a lot, they did not feel they had become a team. From this experience forward, I became VERY clear about expectations, deliverables, etc. I incorporated a question in my pre-assessment asking what outcomes they expected to achieve and shared the results of that question with the whole group at the beginning of the day. This (in the words of my friend, Paul Smith) “created the container”. It also establishes a clear contract with you and the client for the desired outcomes, allowing for dialogue should other issues emerge. For those who are unaware, building a team is a long-term, ongoing, and evolving process. A one-day workshop is just a start…
When you reframe your obstacles and learning opportunities, your new perspective offers insight and inspiration, not defeat and shame. Choose to learn and learn from your choices!