His cowboy hat tilted forward to block the rain, soaked oilskin jacket dripping with water, a taught lead rope with a very unhappy donkey at the end begrudgingly following. This image of Paul Smith leading Hercules back to his pasture on a stormy night as we peered from the doorway of the bunkhouse embodies the critical importance of having a support system. Paul was part of Herc’s support team. He took care of this stubborn donkey, literally dragging him back to a secure area where he would be free from bears, coyotes, and other predators. Support teams can not only keep you physically safe (I’ve been grateful for this kind of help a time or two), they are also there for your emotional, spiritual, and psychological support.
I’m forever grateful to the various “herds” who have shared themselves with me over the years and accepted me for “being” me. I Imagine the various groups of humans as if they were all ropes, or threads, or other pieces of twine twisted together creating a lifeline. Some are longer than others. Some are thick, with many life experiences, and strong because of the shared time and overcoming of conflict. Others have gaps, where they have come and gone. In each case, the ties that bind have helped me gain perspective, held me accountable, and supported me in reframing experiences that no longer serve.
Surround yourself with people that you trust, that invite your authentic self into the space with them, and who you can share your vulnerability. You don’t have to always agree with people in your support system, in fact, sometimes it is better if you don’t. As Michael Broom teaches “Difference is the only ways you learn.”